Sex and Trust

Sex and Trust

Having a good relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex. But, whatever you do, whether it’s kissing, touching or having sex, it should always be something that you both want to do.

Sex is meant to be:

  • Something you decide to do when you are ready to
  • Something that makes you both feel good
  • Something you can interrupt or stop at any time
  • Safe (because you are both prepared with condoms to protect you from sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy

Sex isn’t meant to be:

  • The only way to prove that you love someone
  • Something you feel forced or pressured in to
  • Something you do because, “everyone else is doing it”
  • Something that makes you feel used

Remember, if you’ve been kissing or touching but don’t want to go any further, that’s okay. Kissing is not a contract.

Trust and communication

The most important thing in a sexual relationship is that you trust the other person and you feel like you can communicate with them.

If you are considering a sexual relationship, or if you are in a sexual relationship, ask yourself:

  • How much do I trust this person to respect what I do and don’t want to do?
  • How comfortable would I feel talking with them about safe sex and contraception?
  • How comfortable would I feel saying, “no” to them?

Someone who loves you should respect your right to decide if and when to have sex.

If you don’t feel ready to have sex, you could say, “I really like you, but I don’t feel ready to have se

Sex and Pressure

“I kept on pushing his hands away, but he just kept putting them back there, then I just froze, I couldn’t say anything, it was horrible”.

What if someone has touched you or made you touch them in a sexual way and you felt like you had no choice?

You might have:

  • Felt scared to say, “no”.
  • Felt pressured into having sex. Because they made you think that if you didn’t they’d break  up with you, or they wouldn’t like you
  • Been asleep or drunk and didn’t really know what was going on
  • Been forced into sexual contact

No one should force you into any type of sexual contact. In fact, this is sexual assault, and it’s a crime that can be reported to the police.

Remember, they have done the wrong thing, not you. It can help to talk to someone about it.